Real Nappy Week

Before I go any further I should say I don't actually like the term "real nappies". It is used to describe cloth nappies but I find it a bit condescending, disposable nappies are not "fake". I don't know, maybe I am thinking about it too much or missing the point but it has a bit of a snooty earth mother vibe about it which I think could put some parents off.

Anyway, that's beside the point, real nappy week starts Monday 28th April (so we're well into it at the moment) and is a week where the use of cloth nappies is celebrated and promoted. The best thing about it for me is that a lot of cloth nappy retailers have specials and sell nappies for reduced prices. If you are thinking about trying cloth or need some more to bulk out your stash it's a great time to pick up a few bits.

My favourite nappy of choice at the moment for J is a Bumgenius Freetime. It is an all in one nappy so doesn't require any stuffing of inserts into pockets and they are just the most reliable nappy I've used.

Today, J was accidentally in one for about 6 hours (due to being out and awkward nap times) and it held perfectly. I've managed to pick up a few at a reduced price and also took the opportunity to try out a new brand so we'll see how that goes. Babies shapes and weeing habits change so nappies that did work well for you at one time can be terrible at another time. It's a good idea to have a stash of nappies that cover different brands and styles.

I was going to put together some details on sites that have offers on but I came across this link on Fluffy Mummy that really sums things up so much better than I could.

So, if you are interested in trying cloth or are a cloth addict and want to convert some of your friends, this is a good time to do it!

N
xxxx

Baby Pearls

We've had a very nice weekend celebrating my lovely friend Jane's birthday. A weekend of good friends, board games, pizza, manicures and lots of laughs. Also, my parents took J last night and we actually got some sleep and a lie-in. Heaven!

I am deluding myself that the weather is getting warmer but in reality, it just seems to have gone a bit haywire and can't decide what season it is. We've gone from sunny and warm to very cold with hail, all in the space of a few hours and I'm finding it hard to dress accordingly. I've just accepted that sometimes I'm going to be a bit cold at the moment.

It does mean that for the first time this I was able to snap a few quick pics outside. We live in an apartment so no direct access to a garden and as Mr HNW works during daylight hours it makes getting pics in good light quite hard. I did manage to snatch a little bit of time outside today.

Wearing here my new Boden stripy Henley top, Topsop Baxter jeans and my gold pumps from Warehouse.

I love statement necklaces, there are some lovely ones out there at the moment and they're a great way to wear the current season's colours without buying lots of clothes that you might not get a lot of wear out of. Unfortunately, I have a 9 month old baby who also loves statement necklaces, as in he loves to pull and pull and pull at them until they snap, then he likes to eat them. A few of my favourite necklaces have gone to the big jewellery box in the sky so I have to be very careful about wearing them during the day now.

I did find a good solution while we were in South Africa though - Baby Pearls and I'm wearing mine in the photo above.

I came across these when we visited a cute little baby shop in Johannesburg looking for cloth nappy supplies (which they sadly didn't have). I was immediately taken with what a good idea they are, a necklace in funky colours that look good on Mummy but are made of silicone so baby can also safely chew them. It has a breakaway clasp as well so that if J pulls the necklace (which of course, he does) it just comes off.

J never stays still so is blurry in a lot of photos and this was the best we could capture. He does love to gnaw on them though. They come in eighteen bright colours and they have matching bracelets too. The company also advise that swapping the bracelets from wrist to wrist are a good way to remember which side you breastfed on last, which I think is a great idea.

Baby Pearls are made and sold in South Africa but they do ship worldwide. I did find another company called Koo-Di selling a similar product, but the colours are quite muted, just whites, blacks and greys which frankly, don't do it for me. They are having a flash sale on the necklaces at the moment though which is always nice!

There is also a company called Jellystone that do silicone teething pendants and necklaces and bracelets

I'm not sure I like the fact that the necklace doesn't have silicone beads all the way around but the silicone owl pendant is pretty funky.

So, for any ladies out there whose baba is destroying their jewellery here is a good back-up option!

N
xxx

Crying It Out - Update

In my last post I wrote about our attempts at crying it out and how well it was going. I should not have written that post! The law of jinxing something prevailed.The next night we were up twice with him and he cried for 30 minutes both times. He did however, wake up in his own bed in the morning which is a big plus.

I'd love to say after 4 nights of doing it he is sleeping through the night and I'm on a blissful, sleep-fueled cloud all the time but sadly, that is not the case. Each night he has woken up at least once, refused a bottle and looked at me with beseeching eyes that say "take me into bed for a cuddle, Mummy - look how cute I am". Resisting him is seriously hard work because J is of course, very cute and he is a very cuddly baby. What Mum doesn't love baby cuddles? However, I know if he comes in the bed with us I will be awake all night while he cries and squirms and kicks me for hours on end. The promise of nice cuddle time is never fulfilled!

So, I have resisted and he has fallen back asleep quickly enough each time. Even though I have to get up during the night to alternatively soothe him and listen to him cry, I'm actually getting more and better sleep then if he was in with me. The house is cleaner and more organised and both J and I are happier because we are both getting more sleep. Every morning he has woken up in his own cot which in itself, makes it all worth it.

So, I don't think it's going to magically make him sleep through the night any time soon but it has made me realise that when he cries at night, he doesn't need anything and can go back asleep by himself soon enough. I'm still going to continue with it and you never know, miracles do happen. Maybe one morning I'll wake up at 7am and realise I've been asleep for 8 hours straight. I can dream anyway!

N
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Crying It Out

Ah yes, the old crying it out conundrum - is it cruel? does it damage your relationship with your baby? is it selfish? There is copious amounts of information, both negative and positive on crying it out (CIO) online. You could tie yourself in knots reading all the conflicting opinions (and in fact, I have).  Before I had a baby, and in the first few months of J's life I was firmly in the "I will never do such a thing camp". How could I bear the idea of my precious baby crying out for me like that? Little did I know!

Now J is 9 months old and still a terrible, terrible sleeper. I keep looking for ways that it is my fault but I've come to the conclusion that it is just his personality and the way he is. I don't remember what it felt like to not be tired and 9 months of disturbed sleep is really catching up on me. J is a wonderful baby, (although he is very active so wears me out during the day as well), he is a fantastic eater and a day napper and loves people (he has yet to reach the "making strange" stage) and being out in new places. The only thing that causes us problems is his sleep. Everyone keeps telling me that it will get better, when he goes on formula, when he is on solids, when is eats 3 meals of solids a day, but it still remains a huge problem for us.

We did a modified version of CIO about 6 weeks ago and after that he was sleeping from 8pm until 4.30/5am when he would come into bed with us. I didnt't know myself. Then his first tooth cut and we went on holidays and it's just got worse and worse since then. At the moment, he will go to bed easily at 7.30/8pm. He goes asleep with no problems, it actually seems that he wants to go to bed, he goes down in his cot and turns over and goes to sleep. Our problem is the constant waking during the night and the complete inability he has to self-soothe. Recently he has been waking up as early as 9.30pm and there is nothing you can do to get him back to sleep in his cot. If you hold/soothe him until he falls back asleep he wakes up the minute he is put back in his cot. The only thing we can do to get sleep at the moment is to have him in the bed with us. I miss having our bed to ourselves and not waking up every hour to soothe a squirming, crying baby.

As I said, I was against the idea of CIO but we just can't go on like this and I know it gets results. When we did a modified version before (modified being that we didn't leave the room but we also did not pick him up when he cried) we saw results very quickly. This time we're getting so frustrated that we're happy to whatever to get him to sleep.

Mr HNW was out last night and he's the one that finds it tougher to hear J cry so I decided it was time to start the CIO. When J was very tired I put him in his cot, kissed him goodnight and walked away. It took him a minute or two to realise what was going on and then the crying started. I went in every two minutes three times and then every four minutes three times. At 18 minutes, I was about to go in and soothe him and then wait 6 minutes until going in next when he abruptly stopped crying and went asleep. I was so relieved because the crying was horrible and from what I've read on the first night in can take over an hour for the baby to go to sleep.

He slept soundly until 4.30am. I went in then to give him a bottle which he wouldn't take, he then cried for 5 minutes and went back asleep again. This morning he woke up at 8am in his own cot as happy as can be. It's nothing short of miraculous.

So, the CIO is getting a big thumbs up from us. I'm out tonight so Mr HNW will be on duty. He's sworn he'll tough it out so fingers crossed it continues to go well. Wish us luck!

N
xxx

Return to Reality

After almost two and a half weeks away I have returned from South Africa. I would love to say that I have returned feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world again but unfortunately, that is not the case. It was a bit of a stressful trip, there was a lot of moving around staying with various people which just played havoc with J's routine. On top of that he came down with an ear/throat infection that necessicated a trip to Casualty one night, as well as a follow up visit with an Ear, Nose and Throat Doctor. He is still not right and therefore not sleeping well meaning I am one frazzled mammy at the moment. Luckily, Johannesburg is only two hours ahead so jetlag is not really an issue, although the overnight flight home was a bit hard on him (and therefore us!). He is a great flyer, not a peep out of him on any of the flights, despite his ear being at him but the return trip in particular really disturbed his sleep.

It was lovely though to see J with his South African grandfather and his aunts, uncles and cousins there. Both Mr HNW's grandmothers are still with us too so it was wonderful for J to meet his great grandmothers. It was a bit stressful and tiring for us but it was worth it for J to spend time with the other side of his family.

Another great part of the trip is the current euro/rand exchange rate. Some days it was 15 Rand to the Euro which made shopping extremely affordable for us. We went a bit mad, especially buying stuff for J for the next year of his life. I will share some of my purchases in a future post. I don't think there will be many purchases over the next few months. We'll be getting back to saving again, methinks.

This fits in well with Avril at School Gate Style's March challenge - to blog about what you can find in your local charity shop. Luckily, there are a number of charity shops near me so I'll be making a trip soon to see what I can come up with. When I lived in New Zealand I used to buy second hand clothes a good bit as it's very common there (they call it op shopping) and I used to sell clothes I no longer wanted through a big second hand store there and then use the money to pick up some new items for myself. It's something that is not popular here at all so I'm looking forward to seeing what I can pick up and if there are any bargains to be had.

N
xxx

Best Baby Buys

I know this has been done a thousand times before, it seems like every blogger with a baby does a post about good and bad purchases for their baby. I am not going to be any different, I'm afraid! I can see why it is done so much though, when you are pregnant with your first you really are clueless. You're walking around a hormonal (and in my case, vomiting) mess, befuddled by the choice of baby things available and all you think is BUY ALL THE LITTLE THINGS!!! There are things I bought for J that were just completely pointless and things I bought that ended up being surprisingly useful.

1. Fleece Backed Bibs

I have a giant basket of bibs in J's rooms, of all shapes and sizes. He has just cut his first tooth (yay!) but it took him 2 months of teething to get to that point. His mouth was like Niagara Falls most of the time, really just constant drooling. I was changing his bib every 20 minutes at one point. There is only one type of bib I've bought that really works and that is one backed by fleece. Fleece is actually great for drawing away moisture, it's used to make reusable liners for cloth nappies and on the back of baby's bibs, it's the bees knees. If I put him in a bib without fleece on the back it would just soak through and his clothes and even the chest skin underneath got really damp.

The best brand I've found and the only place I buy bibs from now is Name It. The bibs are €3.95 each which isn't super cheap but they are worth it. They say Newborn/Mini on the label but they do fit older babies. J is still wearing them comfortably at almost 8 months. In the shops as well, they have a large selection of colours and patterns- I'm not sure why the website is only showing three colours.

2 Clevamama Soother Tree

Clevamama is an Irish company, run by Irish parents which is a reason to support them from the off. Luckily, a lot of their products are great, they make the sleep positioner that helped us so much when J had reflux. I saw this soother tree when I was first shopping for J and thought it was a bit ridiculous. Why would you need a special thing just to sterilise soothers (dodies/dummies/binkies/pacifiers whatever you want to call them) in the microwave. It seemed redundant and extravagant. Then I had baby who loves his dummy (which is what we call it in our house)and I realised they get everywhere. There are dummies just scattered all over the house, on the floors, in our bed, in his cot, in the cat's bowl - everywhere! Then I realised why the soother tree is so useful. Whenever I come across a dirty dummy it gets rinsed and put directly on the tree, once the tree is full I sterilise the dummies, then take them off the tree, put the caps on and they go in a pot in the kitchen. For only €9.95 it's a great way to keep them organised and not just littered around my house.

3 Clevamama Pillow

Another Clevamama purchase. There are few things that had any positive effect on J's sleep. One of them was this pillow. It's safe for young babies and is designed to help combat babies getting flat heads. For us, it just helped J sleep better and anything that can do that is a miraculous purchase in my opinion. Why it helps him, I don't know and to be honest, I don't care.

4 Jumperoo

The Fisher Price Jumperoo is like the deluxe version of those little seats on elastic that are attached to doorways. We bought this for J when he was about 4 months old and we noticed that he was starting to want to jump a lot while we were holding him.It says it is for ages 6 months and up but as he had very good head control at the time we figured it would be ok for him. It ended up being a lifesaver. Honestly, I tell my friends with babies that are a little younger than Josh that it is the number one thing we bought.

When be bought it his feet didn't quite reach the floor, despite it being on the smallest setting but we just put books under his feet. The reason it was a lifesaver was that until J could sit up it was the only way he would entertain himself at all. Otherwise, my little velcro baby was just on me constantly. He loved (and still loves) bouncing away in it and I loved it because it allowed me to actually go and pee when I needed to. All of a sudden I had freedom that I hadn't experienced since he was born.

At almost 8 months it's still on the smallest setting so we should get another while out of it yet. It was worth every penny. Also, I kind of wish they made them in adult size, it could be great exercise jumping up and down in front of the TV in the evening. In fact, I sense a business opportunity.

5 Sophie the Giraffe

I wasn't going to include Sophie, as she seems to be the must have accessory for babies at the moment. She is just everywhere. When I meet my other baby mama friends for coffee we have to keep a close eye on the Sophies to make sure we don't end up taking the wrong one home. There's a reason for that - she is awesome.

We are actually on Sophie Mark 2 at the moment. Sophie the first got jettisoned from the buggy somewhere on O'Connell Street. When I realised she was missing, I had to make a mad dash to Mothercare to buy another one. That's how much J likes her. I don't know why he (and other babies) love Sophie so much, it must be to do with the feel of the rubber on their poor teething gums, I just know when J hears Sophie squeak his little face lights up.

Just something to note about Sophie, a piece of advice passed on from a friend, don't put her in the dishwasher. It will kill her voicebox and you will never hear her lovely squeak again!

N
xxx

Meow Meow Meow

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am a full on crazy cat lady. Lots of other bloggers with babies post birth stories (I'm not sure anybody would want to read that, to be honest) but instead this is the story of how Murdoch came into our lives. (His picture graces the banner at the top of this blog)

We always had cats growing up and I can't imagine not having one in the house. We had a much loved family cat who died when he was 16. I had him from the age of 8 to 24 so really, we grew up together. The day he had to be put down was a sad day for our family and years later, we all still talk about him regularly.

About a year after that cat died, I became desperate for a cat of my own. I was like a broody woman wanting a baby. At the time, we were living in New Zealand, where cat ownership is high (much to the detriment of the local wildlife!). There were cats everywhere and the day that Mr HNW caught me trying to tempt the neighbour's cat to come in to the house with a saucer of milk was the day he realised we needed to get a little cat of our own. Our big concern was that we knew we were not going to be in New Zealand forever, but after some discussion we decided the cat would just have to come with us when we left and that was that.

One Easter weekend we went to the Wellington SPCA. The staff were very busy because it was an "adopt-athon" day and there were lots of prospective cat and dog owners in. They asked us four or five questions and then instead of bringing us into the main cat area brought us into the administrative office. There were so many kittens that needed homes that there were two cages in there with a litter of kittens in each one. They pointed us to one cage, said these cats love people and left us to it. I opened the cage and a little black and white cat crawled up my arms and fell asleep in the crook of my elbow, purring loudly. I knew then that this was my cat and Murdoch has been with us ever since.

When we left New Zealand, Murdoch came with us on a three day trip across the world to get him home to Dublin. The trip involved two long car journeys, three flights and a ferry crossing and it cost a small fortune to bring him back but it was worth every penny. It's a story for another time I think.

When I got pregnant a lot of people advised me (aka told me what I had to do, in a way anyone who has had a baby is familiar with) that I would have to "get rid" of Murdoch when the baby arrived or that it was madness to have a cat and a newborn in the house. These were people who did not know me well and it infuriated me. Obviously, I wasn't going to let Murdoch babysit and it's not like cats steal babies souls or anything. I know toxoplasmosis can be an issue but it is rare and there are normal, sensible precautions you can take. People said that Murdoch would smother the baby because they like the warmth or that they can smell milk. To be honest, that's nonsense and people who say that must not know cats well. Cats, in general, do not like things that move when they are trying to sleep on them (as you will know if you have a cat and get up while they are on your lap and have experienced the "death glare" for disturbing their slumber.)

I discussed it with my vet who said that as long as Murdoch was fleaed and wormed regularly and we watched to make sure Murdoch didn't get into the cot on top of him then it was fine. In fact he said that there are studies showing that babies who grow up with pets in the house are less likely to be asthmatic (unless the mother is actually asthmatic herself). We "cat-proofed" J's cot before he was born but Murdoch, of course was having none of it. We found him in there on top of the cat-proof netting so many times that we gave up and just did our best to keep the door closed. He had some kind of cot sensor though and would manage to get in there all the time. He still sneaks in there whenever he can and gets shouted at a lot for taking naps in there (after I took pictures of course because it is bad, but also kind of cute!)

Murdoch, is in fact, very good with J. He is a gentle cat at the best of times but now that J can grab and move about he really has a chance to show that. When they are near each other I watch them carefully in case Murdoch suddenly turns but he just walks off when J gets a bit rough. If J is crying Murdoch will come and sit next to him and give him headbutts (cat kisses) and when Murdoch walks past J starts giggling like it is the funniest thing he has ever seen. I know some people will probably think I'm a terrible mother for letting J and Murdoch sleep like in the photo below but it works for us and I just think it is the cutest thing ever.

So, there really is no reason that pets and babies are not compatible. J and Murdoch already have a little bond and  it's lovely to see them together. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if J's first word is Murdy. As long as you are smart about it and take a few precautions what''s the problem? If I could get ten more cats I would but Mr HNW has vetoed it. Apparently 11 cats, one baby and two parents in a two bedroom apartment is "not a good idea". We'll see!

N
xx

Tots Bots Bamboozles - Cloth Nappy Review

So, back to the cloth nappies! I had a previous post on the brand of cloth nappies we mainly use but I have started to branch out a bit to other brands.

The holy grail of cloth nappy wearing seems to be how to keep your little baba dry all night. I have to say, we haven't found it too hard, although from speaking with other cloth nappy mums it might prove more difficult as he gets older. There was one night were I foolishly put a brand new cloth nappy on him without washing it at all first. You need to wash cloth nappies a few times before you use them to make sure they are absorbant. I think, in my sleep deprived state, I read the instructions that arrived with the nappy and promptly chose not to follow any of it - because who needs to do that? I've totally got this cloth nappy thing. It was a disaster. J wet through the nappy as if he wasn't wearing one at all, necessitating a frustrating night time change of all of his clothes and the sheets of the crib while myself and Mr HNW blamed each other for not putting the nappy on correctly. Luckily it hadn't reached the mattress and harmony was restored to the HNW household soon after.

At the moment, our night-time nappy of choice are Totsbots Bamboozles. They are a two part system (as opposed to the Baba and Boo nappies which are pocket nappies). So, how do they work?

The Bamboozles themselves are very thick and stretchy and are made of a kind of towelling material. They need to be paired with a waterproof wrap. They really are very hard wearing, we have never had a leak once in them and even though it is a two part system, they are very easy to use. We have a few different brands of wraps (they are great to wear over disposables or other cloth nappies for extra protection) and the Blueberry wrap is definitely our preferred option. It has a bit more give in it. The totsbots ones are sized and the one we have only goes up to 20lbs, the blueberry wrap is btp (birth to potty).

The Totsbots website advertises them as good for heavy wetters and describes them as "slim fitting". I'm not sure how big the people in Totsbots HQ are but slim fitting does not come to mind when he's in them. They give him an absolutely massive arse. Like he's in the video for Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot (and yes, I may sing that to him on occasion when he's in them) As for heavy wetters, I wouldn't fancy them for daytime use at all. Bulkiness is fine at night when he is just lying down (well, in theory that's what babies do at night, J does not always subscribe to that concept) but during the day I think it would restrict his movements too much and would also make a lot of his clothes very tight on the bum region.

Here is my willing (and gorgeous) model, demonstrating them with and without the wrap.

We boost these nappies, meaning we add extra inserts to make them last a bit longer at night (We use these baba and boo bamboo ones). This only makes his arse bigger. In the photos here, the nappies are unboosted.

The other con, for me, is the smell. Compared to other nappies and particularly disposables the smell of ammonia off these in the morning is eye watering, even if you are washing them correctly. The outer wrap is quite thin (although it is waterproof) and underneath it's just like a big towel soaked in baby pee, a towel that is lying in your bed right next to your nose. Using these at night means he needs to be changed the second he gets up or else I start to gag - not the best way to start the morning.

All in all, they are a great option for night time. They keep him dry for almost 12 hours and he seems happy enough in them. We boost them with one insert which suffices for us but I know it could be boosted more, if required. They are a popular choice for night-times and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend them to someone looking for a safe night-time option.

N
xxx

Stripping Nappies

As per this post, I am a cloth nappy user. J is almost 7 months and despite predictions by some of our friends we are still on the cloth nappy train. All I can say is that after 6 months of it my tolerance for poo has gone way up!

We were away over Christmas and New Year and when we returned from holiday our washing machine packed in.This meant J was in disposables for about 3 weeks, as cloth is just too much work while you are away and there was no way I was getting back into the cloth without a working washing machine.

While J was in the disposables I realised how many leaks we had been having with the cloth. I got peed on so many times and the piles of washing around the house (known as Mount Foldmore) was getting out of control. It wasn't until we had him in the disposables and I noticed we didn't have a single leak I realised something was not quite right.

One of the issues that can cause leaking is a detergent build-up in the nappies, making them less absorbant. Nappies should be washed with a small amount of detergent (depending on the hardness of your water) to avoid this. I usually only add a tablespoon or two of  washing powder so I wasn't sure if that was it but I decided it would be a good idea to strip the nappies anyway to see if it helps. Anything to stop the pee leaking all over the shop. One of the ways you can tell if nappies need to be stripped if that they smell like wee after being washed. Now, I didn't notice this being a problem with J's nappies but maybe my sense of smell has been dulled by having a small child around the house.

There are lots of methods online as to how to strip cloth nappies, most of them involving dishwasher tablets, washing-up liquid or vinegar. I agree with the nappy lady on this one, I wouldn't wash my underwear using any of those methods so why do that to my precious baby's bum?

I followed the nappy lady's advice which involves doing three washes with no washing powder at all.

The first wash should be at 30C or a cold wash if you can (which is what I did, our washing machine has a cold setting).

The second wash should be at 60C and use the longest wash setting possible. The nappy lady suggests using a sensitive setting that uses more water but our washing machine had no setting like this.

The third wash should be also be at 60C and during this wash you should see no suds. I had a good look in the door like a mad woman but couldn't see anything.

The nappy lady also recommends doing a wash once a month with no detergent (or once a week if they are teething). This isn't something that I had been doing so will definitely do it in future.

So far, we've been back in cloth for two days and no leaks have been reported so far. Hurray. Hopefully it will continue and I can remain (mostly) pee free in 2014!

N
xx

Billy No Mates!

I"m the first of my friends to have a baby - to be honest until recently I didn't know anyone at all who had children except for a friend's older sister who had a baby last December. When organising a wedding lots of brides decide to have a "no children" policy and state this on their invites. We didn't need to do this because not one of our guests had children! I don't think 29 is particularly young to have your first baby but it's just worked out that my friends aren't quite there in their lives yet. 

Mr HNW and I chose to have a baby when we did for a few reasons. It was something we'd been thinking about for a little while and I wanted to do it when we were as young as possible (to get the pregnancy and childbirth out of the way!). Also, I wanted to stay at home with any children for a few years and financially, it made sense to do that before we had bought a house (we are currently renting) and had the pressure of paying a mortgage.

Because of this, I've really had to make an effort to get out there and meet some other mums. My friends are great but they all have a lot going on in their lives at the moment which means that I don't really see them that often. Being at home with a young baby means you really need to get out of the house as much as you can. On days that J is being difficult I often find just putting him in the car or buggy and getting out is the best solution. 

So, I've basically been whoring myself around South Dublin for the last few months! I felt like I was starting a new school or something and that I'd have to walk up to women with prams in the street and beg them to be my friend. Luckily, it didn't come to this but I really had to make a conscious effort to get myself out there and meet new people. The good thing is that a lot of women are in a similar situation so having a baby is actually a great way to meet new people and expand your circle. I've met some really lovely people who are now good friends.

I met other mums in a number of ways. I am a member on www.boards.ie and started chatting online to a few mums that were due to have babies the same month that I had J. It was great sharing our pregnancies with each other and after we had had our babies, we set up a private facebook group and now chat almost every day. It's been invaluable to be able to talk to other mums whose babies are at the same stage as J and see how they are all coping. Sadly, we're dotted all over the country but we are planning on doing a meet-up coming up to Christmas to meet in person and catch up. 

I have also met up with some other mums who post on boards.ie  and live in Dublin who have older children which again, has been invaluable. It's reassuring to know that they all struggled too at the beginning but have raised healthy, happy children who are now flying around the place! 

My local health centre has a breastfeeding support group that I go to most weeks. Not only can I get J weighed and chat with the PHN I also get to meet other mums with babies of a similar age, who are also breastfeeding. What's great about it is that the mums all live in my local area so it's been great for being able to meet to go for walks and also when I pop to the shops now I usually meet one of them pushing their prams around as well. It's really made me feel like I am part of a community and I was surprised how much that has helped.

I did a baby massage class with Maggie Burns in Mount Merrion (http://www.beautifulbeginnings.ie). While I was interested in baby massage for J, I mainly did these classes as a way to meet other mums. The format of the class is 1 hour of learning the baby massage techniques and one hour to have a coffee and chat. We had a great group and I've kept in touch with a number of the mums. We use whatsapp to keep in touch and we also meet up every week or so to go to the baby cinema in Dundrum or for lunch.

As I'm interested in cloth nappies I also went along to a ""napuccino" - a coffee meet up organised through the cloth nappies Ireland facebook page. It was a great opportunity to meet other mums who used cloth nappies and get some advice. It is a bit daunting walking up to a group of mums who you don't know but I've found everybody I've met so welcoming, I think because we understand what it's like to need some company and reassurance.

There's also a lot of other ways to meet people that I haven't tried yet like local parent and toddler meetings or further classes (you can do classes in baby yoga or cooking for weaning babies). There's a great choice out there.

On that note, I should really get to get to bed. Tomorrow is another day of being out and about, it's tiring being a socialite!

N
xx

The Awfulness of Reflux in Babies - Part Four

So, now that I've shared our story of J's reflux I thought it would be a good idea to put together a post with my top tips for dealing with  it. Obviously I am not a doctor, these are just tips that worked with us and J's reflux:

1) Prop up your crib with blocks/books or use a wedge pillow under the mattress combined with a sleep positioner. Now that Josh is medicated, we decided to try and take away the wedge pillow and sleep positioner as we didn't think he would need them. This was a big mistake, within minutes he was starting to arch his back in pain. They really do make a huge difference.

2) Keep your baby sitting upright for at least 30 minutes after each feed. Longer if you can (i.e. if it's not the middle of the night). I also keep J upright as much as possible during the day. The Rock n Play I mentioned in this post is just great for giving me a break so he's not in my arms. Another option is to get a sling and carry the baby around that way during the day. I'm a fan of babywearing and have a Moby wrap that I use to carry J.

3) If you can get them to use a dummy/soother/dodie/pacifier - whatever you want to call them do it! I know some parents are against them but it is now actually recommended that they are used to help prevent SIDS. They are a great help for refluxy (and also colicky) babies to encourage them to swallow. It is also a great comfort. Luckily J loves his, I don't know what we'd do without it. Refluxy babies often gag themselves with their own fists (which J loves doing) and I'd much prefer he used a sterilised dummy if he needs the comfort.

4) Small feeds more often seem to work better. As J is pretty much exclusively breastfed and I feed on demand this can be hard to control but often refluxy babies feed more often naturally as the milk soothes their poor burned throats.

5) There is a lot of advice online about foods to avoid, most of it conflicting, in my opinion. Dairy and chocolate feature heavily though. I just couldn't face giving these up though, after being so sick during pregnancy it is heaven to be able to eat normally again. I did give up spicy foods though as that was a definite aggravator. If you have more self control than I do this could be an option for you if you are breastfeeding. I know of a mother whose baby has terrible reflux and unlike J, vomits regularly. She gave up dairy and said it made a huge difference to her baby. I could actually physically see the difference in her baby from one week to the next so it can work if your baby is slightly lactose intolerant.

If you are formula feeding try one of the specific formulas for reflux like Aptamil Reflux or SMA Staydown. Some refluxy babies are also lactose intolerant so changing your formula could be a good idea if you suspect this to be the case. Nutramigen seems to be a popular choice but of course, discuss with your GP first.

6) Seek help - there is nothing wrong with giving your baby medicine. I have heard more than once, both online and in real life women who smugly lecture me that all babies have reflux and doctors hand out prescriptions like they're sweets and you should try natural remedies. These are the women I want to punch in the face, repeatedly. It's fine if you don't want to medicate your baby, but a) in my opinion if they were as bad as J was or other babies are then you would have done anything to make them feel better, your baby probably wasn't that bad and b)how dare you be so judgemental, I'm doing the best I can and if the medicine will stop my baby's pain then he's getting it. No mother is going to jump straight to giving their baby prescription drugs without trying other things first. The reflux has been my first experience with the "judgy mummy" and I'm sure it won't be my last.

7) Play around with dosages if you need to (under your GP's supervision). Babies are different and even though there are guidelines for mg per kg of weight it seems different doses work for different babies.

8) Some medical proffessionals advise to wean onto solids as early as possible, but I have also received advice that it is not a good idea. To be frank, I have no idea. J is only 14 weeks old so too young for solids. I'm inclined to wait until as close to 6 months as possible but I really think it is up to the parents who know their babies best. I know a mother who started her son on solids at 3 and a half months due to reflux and swears by it. I'm going to see how we go. It is something to think about though if you have a refluxy baby.

9) Finally, be good to yourself.. I found the lack of sleep so difficult but luckily I have a supportive husband and we worked out a routine where he helped more at night, even though he had to be up for work. I also have a fantastic Mum who came over almost every day so I could have a lie-down while she watched J. Take care of yourself, eat well and try and sleep when you can. It's hard to see your baby in distress but remember it does get better and you are not alone, it really is a very common problem and there are things you can do to help.

The Awfulness of Reflux in Babies - Part Three

So, at this stage in the story we were keeping J upright as much as possible and trying to get Gaviscon into him when we could. We were still exhausted and while there was a small improvement this stalled and J still had problems with spitting up, arching in pain and generally having very disturbed sleep.

I had talked to a few people who knew babies with reflux and read pretty much everything the internet had to say on the matter and it seemed that a lot of babies were prescribed proton pump inhibitors. These are drugs that inhibit the production of acid in the stomach and ease discomfort. Our GP had said at our visit that he was not comfortable prescribing these unless a paediatrician had checked him out.

Luckily, due to the previous issue J had with twitching in his sleep we had his 6 week check in Holles Street instead of with our GP. I expected the paediatrician to be quite dismissive as J was thriving in the sense that he was putting on weight and was developing normally and seemed well. The paediatrician was actually lovely about the whole thing and understood that we couldn't continue going the way we were. He prescribed 10mg a day of Losec. The sense of relief I was feeling when I went to fill that prescription was unreal. I was so hopeful that an end was in sight. I informed our GP that the paediatrician had prescribed this and he said he would do a check on Josh in a week or so to see how it was working.

The problem now was getting the Losec into him.The Losec we used was the MUPS (multi unit pellet system). The pharmacist recommended dissolving the tablet in a syringe and putting it in his mouth.The tablet dissolves quite well in water and turns in to a liquidy paste with granules in it fairly easily. The syringe didn't work as a lot of the granules got stuck in the tip. Mr HNW had the great idea of grinding the tablet finely in the mortar and pestle I use for grinding herbs. DO NOT DO THIS!!! I cannot stress that enough. The tablet consists of pellets with an enteric coating that protects the active ingredient from being destroyed by the stomach acid. I had a very bad night with Josh and couldn't figure out why the Losec was not working. Luckily, I re read the instruction leaflet during the night and realised what we had done.

The next thing we tried was placing the tablet on a plastic weaning spoon and dropping boiled water that had been allowed to cool on to the tablet using a syringe. This worked a treat, the tablet dissolves into a watery paste and it's easy enough to get it into J. There's usually a little bit of spillage but we're getting better at it every day.

After a week or so of being on the Losec, I had noticed an improvement but it was obvious that the positive effects wore off during the day, as he was being given the tablet in the evenings before going to bed.. I rang our (very lovely) GP to discuss it with him and he recommended giving him a second dose in the mornings. Since we have started doing this there has been a huge improvement. He is on a relatively high dose for his weight but it is under the supervision of our doctor and we're just grateful that it seems to be working.

While the reflux is still there and causes problems it is much more under control and we are all feeling much more human. J even sleeps more during the day now that he is more comfortable. He is now about 12 weeks old and we're starting to get into a routine, especially with giving him the doses of losec morning and evening. I think things are easier partly because he is getting older and partly because the reflux is much more under control.

If you are in a similar situation, I just want to say please don't despair, things will get better and there really are things you can do, which I'll detail in my next post.

Cloth Nappies - Baba and Boo Review

I have a confession to make, my name is Niamh and I am a cloth nappy user! While I was pregnant I did a little research on types of nappies and realised how funky, stylish and practical cloth nappies had become. When you say cloth or reusable nappies to people their first thought obviously goes to terry cloths and safety pins and imagining me up to my arms in soapy, pooey water. Cloth nappies have moved on in a big way since then!

The reasons I was interested in cloth nappies was a) to save money and b) because I wasn't comfortable with the amount of waste using disposable nappies produces. I'm not really the hippy, environmentalist type but in Ireland 600,000 disposable nappies are used everyday and 94% of these end up in a landfill. It just seemed like a lot of waste to me and if using cloth nappies also saves money in the long run, it made sense to give it a go. One thing we are not short of in Ireland is rain so I wasn't worried about using extra water. I know parents in drier areas often have to weigh up the environmental impact of sending nappies to landfill versus the increased water using washing the nappies causes. 

I did a bit of online research about the different types and brands of cloth nappies and read reviews of different brands. I decided to start with pocket BTP (birth to potty) nappies. BTP nappies do what they say really, they are adjustable so they can be used as your child grows. Each nappy consists of an outer nappy shell with pockets and then two microfibre inserts that go in the pocket. 

This seemed to be the best all round option for me and I chose to order from a company called Baba and Boo. They offer a more affordable range than other companies as well as having a starter kit that interested me. Also they have some fab designs which really appealed to me (pic of some of my stash below!):

I bought a starter kit of 20 nappies, 40 microfibre inserts, two wetbags (for transporting dirty nappies home with you), a nappy bucket and two mesh bags to put the dirty nappies in to. This cost £168 plus delivery. They really are very simple to use, one insert gives you three hours of dryness and two inserts gives you six. The nappies have poppers on them to adjust the size. The nappies are advertised as being suitable from 8lbs to 35lbs but I found that although J was 8lbs 1oz at birth the nappies did not fit him well enough to use until he was about 3 weeks old. 

It took a little bit of experimentation to find the right combination of poppers to fit him but we got there in the end. We do have leaks occasionally, mainly if he has a dirty nappy and I don't change him quick enough after it. We have found that the disposables we use occasionally actually leak more often then the cloth nappies which I found surprising. We do occasionally get some "wicking" on the legs (this is when the edge of the nappy at the legs gets wet and then soaks through to the vest/babygro) but this is mainly at night. There is the option to "boost" your nappies (for instance for keeping baby dry all night) by adding hemp, bamboo or charcoal inserts into the nappy to make it more absorbent. We use charcoal inserts for this and they are great.

With regards to the dirty nappies, we rinse them with the shower head, either in the bath or down the toilet (luckily our shower head stretches to the toilet) then they go in a mesh bag in the bucket which is kept in our bathroom (this is called dry pailing). Once the bucket is full I pull out the mesh bag, put in the washing machine on a cold rinse and then wash at 40C using a small amount of washing powder. You can add napisan or something similar into your wash but the best stain remover is actually the sun. Even though we live in an apartment and therefore don't line dry our nappies the sun can still remove stains through the windows if we place the clothes horse in the sitting room window. 

Using cloth nappies really works for us and I would recommend it to anyone. I like that I don't have to buy nappies (apart from an up front cost) and that our waste hasn't increased. Also the cloth nappies seem to agree with his skin more, when we were using disposables he got an awful nappy rash that we needed prescription cream to clear up. Now, when he wears a disposable nappy it gets stuck to him in exactly the same place that he had the rash so really I think they are so much better for his skin. Yes, it is more work but really not a huge amount  especially if you consider the benefits we get. 

If you are interested in using cloth nappies I'd recommend checking out the Irish cloth nappy library. You can trial nappies from here to see how you get on before purchasing. In hindsight I should have done this as the Baba and Boo nappies might not have suited J and us. Luckily they did but if they hadn't fit him very well I would have been stuck with twenty nappies I couldn't use. There is also a cloth nappy users group on Facebook where you can chat to other women who use cloth nappies. Another option is to buy second hand or "pre-loved" cloth nappies if you want to try any out. Cloth nappies do hold their value well and there is a good market for second hand nappies. There is also a Facebook group for that here. 

Be warned though it can become addictive, there are so many brands of nappies with fabulous designs, styles and structures. It's easy to get caught up and just keep buying more and more! I have my eye on a wolverine one for J at the moment. Mr HNW is a big X-Men fan. There also seems to be a limitless amount of brands and styles so I'm currently trying out some other kinds to see how we get on. 

As you can see J is pretty happy with his fluffy bum:

N
xxxx

The Awfulness of Reflux in Babies - Part Deux

So, in my last post about reflux we had just started on the road to managing J's reflux and attempting to make him (and us) a little more comfortable. We started by putting a rolled up towel under the mattress in his crib and putting telephone books under the legs to raise the head (actually I tell a lie, they say to use telephone books but who has them these days? Honestly, I used big thick trashy Jilly Cooper novels!). You can buy these if you want to be fancy:

They are little blocks to go under the legs of the cot. However, we have a gliding crib so it doesn't have defined legs (it has bars instead). The Jilly Cooper novels would have to do for us!

Propping up the legs of the crib really didn't make much of a difference to J's reflux, he was still sleeping terribly and was obviously in a lot of pain. We had a few horrendous sleepless nights. We had huge problems getting him to sleep in his crib.Quite a few nights he slept in his rocker. My friend who lives in the States sent J a Fisher Price Rock n Play (see picture below) and it was a lifesaver.

I'm not sure if it is available in Ireland or the UK, I had trouble finding it online or in stores here but honestly we couldn't have done without it. Some nights when J just couldn't or wouldn't lie in his crib because of reflux, he would sleep in the rocker for an hour or two relatively peacefully, as it puts them in a kind of supported sitting position. Many nights I got myself into a tizzy because I know babies are meant to sleep on their backs and I was worried about him sleeping any other way. There are a few articles online about how it wasn't safe for them to sleep in the rock n play which I read with growing horror, in this case Google really was my enemy. Also, many nights when even the rock n play failed us J would sleep on my chest for a few hours. Again, I would tie myself in knots worrying about this thinking I'd wake up to find him not breathing. In hindsight, if that's what we needed to do to get through the night and we were being careful about things then I think it is ok. J needed a mum that wasn't a complete mess and could actually function during the day. As the days went on I got a bit more relaxed about it.

One night during this period I was so sleep deprived I started hallucinating. I took J out of his crib and placed him on the bed while I got ready to feed him (or so I thought). When I went to pick him up off the bed he wasn't there. I was scrabbling frantically in the bed looking for him, pulling back the covers and throwing the pillows off the bed getting more and more freaked out by the minute. Then I turned around and he was still in his crib, I had never taken him out at all. I was so tired I had lost the ability to distinguish between dreams and reality. It sounds so over the top, but it was one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me.That was when I knew we couldn't go on like that for much longer.

The hallucination incident happened on a Friday night so on the Saturday morning we took J to the out of hours GP in St Michael's Hospital in Dun Laoghaire. I had read online that infant Gaviscon was the thing to get for babies with reflux. This is an over the counter medicine but pharmacists are reluctant to give it to babies under one year old unless a doctor had told you to use it (I had been to the pharmacy to try and get it!). We went to the doctor with me hoping he would give us the Gaviscon so we could get J feeling better.

The doctor, after asking lots of questions and ruling out anything more serious said it did indeed appear to be silent reflux and suggested Gaviscon after every feed, but no more than 6 in a 24 hour period. I was delighted thinking it was the solution to all our problems but my optimism was a bit unfounded as it turns out.

The problem with infant Gaviscon is that it is really not compatible with breastfeeding. Gavison needs to be given after a feed mixed with either water or milk in a bottle or a syringe. If you are formula feeding you can mix it with the milk in the bottle before giving it to the baby so it's much easier. You can also get specially thickened formulas for reflux, but you can't mix Gaviscon with these. Anyone who has breastfed a baby will know how unresponsive they are after they have been fed. How on earth do you get more liquid into a full, sleepy and milk drunk baby? It was impossible to get him to take more milk when he was already full.I was very reluctant to give up breast feeding and switch to formula for a number of reasons so wanted that to be a last resort.

Mainly we gave the Gaviscon to him mixed with some breastmilk in a bottle before his feed. Usually this didn't work because it's not designed to be given before feeds and our boy loves his grub and making him wait while we prepared the Gaviscon was not alright with him at all! He'd be hysterical by the time I was ready to feed him, making the reflux worse because he would gulp his feed down really fast which actually aggravates reflux. Sometimes we would wake him up an hour after his feed to give him Gaviscon but it really wasn't an ideal situation at all. If he woke up crying out in pain it was easy to get the Gaviscon in to him but mostly he'd just be groaning and thrashing about in his sleep and waking him up for Gaviscon meant it took a long time to get him back down again, as well as making him very upset.

It did help a little bit but it really wasn't nearly as effective as I hoped. We used the Gaviscon in conjunction with continuing to prop up his mattress and also keeping him upright after a feed for at least 30 minutes before putting him down. This was fine during the day but a right pain in the ass at night when all you wanted to do was to go back asleep. I bought a wedge pillow to prop up his mattress more effectively. There are a lot on the market but I just bought this basic one from Mothercare:

The problem with propping up the mattress was that it would cause J to roll to the side and he'd wake up screaming with his face rolled into the bars on the side. Obviously not ideal - bad mammy territory! To combat this I bought a Clevamama Sleep Positioner (also from Mothercare although many places stock them):

This has bumpers at the side to stop the baby rolling over. It's only suitable for young babies as once they have learned to roll over it's not safe. It did solve the problem of him rolling to the side although he does slip down it during the night, meaning you have to wake up and move him back up every so often. It's also not suitable if you swaddle your baby and we found it didn't really work while using a gro bag so we had to retire that temporarily.

There are also specialist reflux wedges for babies that look like this:

The baby sleeps in a little sling attached to the pillow. How clever is that? They are extremely expensive (about €200) but there was the odd night I'd be sitting holding J up and browsing on my iPhone were I was thinking screw it, it's only money, if it makes him feel better just get one. I would have done anything. In the morning I always saw sense though, to the immense relief of Mr HNW!

So we tried all of these methods over a two or three week period and while there was a small difference in J's reflux we were still struggling. During the day J was a very happy little baby and luckily, we never had any problems feeding him. Some babies with reflux start to associate the pain with feeding and refuse to feed. J has always been a good grubber and was putting weight on well. Still, we were exhausted and we felt like all we talked about was J and how he was. It became a full time job feeding him, trying to fit in the Gaviscon and constantly sitting with him upright in our arms.

To be continued......

Blogtastic!!

So, I've been thinking about starting a blog for a little while. Every so often the idea would flit into my head that I would like to have something creative as an outlet and also somewhere to record my baby journey. I kept dismissing the idea as madness, who would want to read what I am up to? Would I have any time to myself to do it? Do I actually have anything interesting to say? Getting the confidence to set up a blog isn't easy, as I'm sure other bloggers have experienced too.

Over the last few days I've come to the conclusion that even if I am the only person to ever read this it's a worthwhile venture, for a number of reasons. Since having J 9 weeks ago so much has changed and there has been so much I have learned. My head is awash with new things and it can be very overwhelming at times. How much of the next year will I remember down the line? Will I retain anything of my former self and interests? Will I go mad being a stay at home mum? That's why I wanted to blog about what interests me, fashion, cooking and baking and now, the world of having a newborn baby and trying to be a thrifty stay at home mum. To share my experiences with others, to record them for myself and also to keep myself sane by getting things off my chest and discussing what is going on with me on a daily basis.

Fingers crossed!

N
xx